/vanish

Gain a daughter lose a son.

Home is not a home anymore.
Home is a house filled with faces that I loathe.
Home is a place to store my belongings.

I use people.
Welcome to the used.

I'm actually alone.
Never before have I been this alone.
Cut off.
But this is a very good thing.
I will only become stronger.
I have that much more of a chance now.
A chance to escape, and stay escaped.

Away, far away is where I find my home.
Dead to me, this state, it's occupants, and it's memories.
Akron temporary.
The west is whispering in the wind.



love love love is for the weak. love love love is a distraction. love love love is all around. love love love is something I do not want. love love love is rainy days in the bay. love love love is walking your dog when chaos surrounds. peace of mind for me. peace of mind for you. peace of mind is love. love is peace of mind.

Welp, the weekend is over. I'm leaving all that stuff in the past now. It was a good going away. Time to move on.
I'm going to pick up video games; to spend all my extra money, and time.

I always think about all the loves that could have been.
I call these my shadows.
I'm followed by a very very dark shadow.

Well lets see...

I have been very busy this week. I have a math test tomorrow, and my grade from it basically is my final grade in the class. I need a 70% in the class to move on to the final math of my life. WOOO!

I talked to my academic advisor about taking summer courses at LCCC, and she said as long as I have at least 16 credits to finish up here, otherwise I would not be able to get my Fire Science degree/diploma from Akron. I have looked online, and found two classes; an intro to psych class, and American national goverment class at LCCC. They are both 3 credits each, so that means I would come back to Akron with 16 credits to go. Pretty rad how that came out to be sooo perfect. So 16 credits is about 5, or 6 classes. I can knock that out in a semester.
This time next year I should have my Associates degree in Fire Science, and hopefully working for a company. Maybe a fire suppressions testing company, something fire prevention related. I would work part time, with a salary of about 14-17k annually, and I would still be going to school for my Bachelors Degree of Emergency Management. I'm pretty excited. I don't feel like I'm stuck anymore, and not going anywhere. It sucks sometimes to look around, and see people not as lucky when it comes to going to school, and not getting stuck...especially in Amherst. I just can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It still is pretty dim, but it is there, and it is getting brighter with each passing day.

I found an apartment for next year. It was on the 5th floor, of the East Exchange Street Apartments, but on the 5th floor there is not a big picture window. Ben went down and told them to move us to the 4th so we could see the city through a huge window. The apartment is really expensive I think. It is 4 bedrooms, it has a kitchen, livingroom, and two bathrooms. I know Ben is going to be my roomate next year, but there are two other kids that I don't know yet. Oh well...hopefully they are kickass.


It's about time :)