I have found a thick notebook. It is where I write my thoughts now. My ink pen is my vessel to and from kami.

Shinto may be the only one that makes sense to me.

Illness has stricken my body. This virus is running wildly, exhausting myself.

I have not been this sick in a very long time, and when my mom told me I had a fever, I wanted to ask her if I can stay home from school.

I have given into taking medicine, something that I normally do not do. It has put my mind into a cloud of unease, and confusion. I try reading but the words just seem to melt together. I can never get comfortable enough to find something to do that makes me happy. Instead I get to sit for 7 minutes until my mind tells me to get up and do something, but there isn't anything to do. I hate it. I want a game to play, but even that doesn't keep my attention for long. I put Diablo II into my computer played for 4 minutes and wanted to die. I want Greg to get his games already so I have something I've never played before.

Hopefully sleep will come to me, and take me away back to my fever dreams. Dreams of Spiderman befriending clowns to fight ringleaders and lion keepers.

This time every year I always have the same feelings. My free time is usually consumed with reading books, which in turn, creates a spark inside me that makes me want to write. Maybe even finish my short story. Who knows really.

Being snowed in makes me miss my girlfriend even more.

Remember this day and night, Bryan Kennedy. Everything in the way you think changed today. Absolutely nothing is the same after today. So be sick all day. You need to. Get all those old thoughts out of you.
Bryan Kennedy grew up 15 years in a matter of about 31 hours.

The word of the day is "Fagpire"
Fagpire- A male homosexual vampire.

I know...I know. It's pretty childish and horrible. But "Fagpire?" Really?

I believe in a God. There is no question about it anymore.

I can barely see what I'm typing right now.
How could this even have happened.

29 years old is way too young to pass.

Rest in peace cousin Michael.

Oh yeah.

Amie and I saw coach Mike Brown at Chipotle.
We didn't say anything though.
He was buying chicken tacos, with barely anything on them besides chicken.

I remember the time when I was checking Amie Grants info, and I accidentally hit the video chat icon.

So embarrassing.
Face got hot, and I wanted to disappear.
Instead I just signed off because I freaked out, then signed back on 2 minutes later and she imed me back and I felt like a fool.

I remember exactly what she said too.
It was "Sending me creepy video chat requests Bryan Kennedy?"



That was how long ago, and now look. It's so crazy how things happen.

I've seen how things are hard.
I love you though.

I've seen how things are hard.
Well don't you know.

I cant make corrections for you
You have to help me patch things up.
_____________________________________________


Growing up, I had a blue blanket. I was the Linus of the late 80s. A Linus without the wisdom. Just a boy with a blue blanket. Now I'm a Linus without the blue blanket. However, A Linus with the wisdom.

I've been through much. Through experience you gain wisdom. I've been through enough to offer you insight of not to touch the stove top when it's red. Why do you keep touching it?

Open up.
Accept things for what they are.
Learn.