Straight A's.
Getting In Shape.
Meditation
Listening To Good Music.
Drinking A Good Cup Of Green Tea.
Blue Cloudy Skies.
Dry Leaves.
And Liking A VERY Cute Girl.

<3

Bryan=Very Happy.

Without Change There Is No Progression.

A healthy mind and body needs change. This is has been something I have always known. I have gone through a lot of "fads" in my life, a lot of things that people try to put me down for. But, I have to be honest, I'm not ashamed of a single one of them. When others bring up all the things I've done or tried to do, all it does is make me reflect on what I took from the experience. I think I go through these "fads" just for the experience, or perhaps something more deeper.

It is much like being in a relationship and stiring the shit, just to get a fight and to spark change, whether the fight lingers to be for a couple hours, days, or even the break up. We all need change in our life.

This thought was sparked, because I'm always trying to get a healthier mind, whether being "Bryan Multicultural Kennedy", through mediation and drinking a lot of tea or reading. but, lately I have also been trying to create a healthier body, I want to be able to punch people.

I have been really debating with myself lately.

I use to tell everyone that I will never vote. I have really been thinking about it though. I think I should. Not voting is pure ignorance, unless you want to hide from the goverment, and honestly I want them to stand toe to toe to me so I can ask them a lot of questions.

Are you writing from the heart?

I found a new past time of laying in my bed staring at the wall, not sleeping just staring at the wall for hours at a time. Hours fall from my life like leaves on a very windy autumn day. It is a lot like in Hey Arnold when Olga comes home from college on break, and Helga sabotages her grades. Olga stays in her room with the lights off, listening to classical music, and just crying her eyes out. I'm not saying I have bad grades, or that I cry my eyes out. I actually don't know why I threw that Hey Arnold reference in, it holds no similarity to what I'm going through, beside trying to juxopose my new past time, I guess.

I'm starting to get all my information packets from my professors about end of semester projects. I'm getting pretty nervous. I don't really care about school, it's cake. I do however, have those days when I freak out and don't think I can do things, I end up just making a cup of tea and sit facing East for an hour, then I pick up from where I left off. I just want to be done with it(school) so bad. I want to have a job already. I have always liked working more than I liked attending school. But, the thing is I plan to travel when I get out of college. Whether alone, or with others it is still up in the air. Who knows by then if I find a serious girlfriend who would travel with me, or if I end up killing someone and ending up in prision. I don't even know what will happen tommorrow, let alone 4 years from now. It is a nice thought though, to imagine Asia, India and Africa.

This week has been the shittiest weather in Akron to date. It has rained all week, and I don't have an umbrella, so my coat, the bottom of my jeans, and even my sweatshirt has been soaked. I just walk 15 blocks to and from class in the rain, get soaked, come home, put back on my Superman pajamas and stare at the wall. I'm very excited to come home this weekend, more so than previous weekends. I don't have class on Friday, so I can leave Thursday night after my Building Inspection class. Jason's birthday is saturday, Elliott Smith's death is also saturday. The mourning will be held in the afternoon and the celebration of birth will be in the night. I really hope my friends plan something, cause I don't want another boring weekend watching Chi-Chi, Loki, and Teddy fighting.

I have been thinking a lot about Winter. I remember last year for winter break, being on my night schedule, staying up all night watching movies then driving to the beach to watch the sun rise every morning alone. It was probably one of the greatest things I could never explain to you. Just the lake frozen over, the birds on the ice. The way the sun rose is another thing I could not put into words. It's actually where the idea of the final days of the hermit old man came from. It is a story currently being worked on by myself. It only has the outline of the story and the charaters. A story of the a old man who lost his wife and shortly afterwards he gives into his loneliness and dies. I don't know. I want to do that again.

Time for class.

FUCK BUSH AND FUCK THIS WAR.

UFC FIGHT:
I went to BW3's to watch UFC with my brother and others. Normally, I don't like violence, but my brother explained to me that is for sport. It doesn't really make it right, but as bad as it sounds, I was entertained. Everyone I wanted to win, in the end, lost. That is how it is for me though. Rich Franklin, the belt holder for heavy weight, got kneed in the face and broke his nose by Anderson Silvia. It was gruesome. At the end of the fight he got interviewed, and his whole nose was shifted.

RENTAL MOVIE REVIEW:
I watched a couple movies this weekend, one at home and one in the theater. The first one (the rental) was the Lake House. It was very good, it wasn't fantastic just because the lead went to Neo, and I didn't establish a strong connection to any of the charaters. I could see the conclusion comming within the first 25 minutes of the film.

NEW RELEASE THEATER REVIEW:
At the theater I really wanted to see Little Miss Sunshine or the Departed, but I ended up watching Texas Chainsaw the Begining. Mostly becaue it was Friday the 13th and everyone I went with was feeling Horror for the night. The movie was bloody horrible. I normally love Horror as a genre, but if Horror is heading towards the likes of TCSMTB, then it is dead to me. I understand the fear the film tried to rise from the viewer, the solitude of the abduction, and the casualness of it, but the directors got hung up with shock value. Resulting in a very boring/bad film; Not to mention the humor they tried to toss in was damn terrible. Just because every scene is gore/mutilation it gets way to repetitive. Here is a tip from me to you, the viewer to the filmmakers, go back to square one, blood and gore DO NOT make for a scary film. If I wanted that, I would go into Trauma as a major. I want to see the killer the way Carpenter sees the killer, A shape, and I want to see that motherfucker in almost every scene. I don't want to see his fucking ex-military hillbilly uncle bringing sheep to the slaughter. I do understand you trying to use that as a under tone because Thomas Hewitt working at the slaugherhouse, But I say GOD DAMN, I want to see attemped escapes and the inevitable catch, not stumbling into the ex-military uncle and him taking the catch downstairs. The movie and the killer is lazy. Whatever happened to turning around the corner, and seeing a William Shatner mask with a knife. I miss Carpenters Halloween to much I think

/end

I originally wasn't going to write this, but I did, so get over it.

After much contemplation/thinking/researching/looking in myself/debating with my old lifestyle and my current views, I have decided to start to walk down the same path as 2.5 million other Americans, Veganism. For me, I disagree with all suffering/violence no matter how big or small, so this makes more sense to me than anything. This has always been in the back of my mind, intill now I just ignored it (like most others). I will no longer ignore it, and I will walk down this path to do my part to end a lot of unneeded suffering.
I was up verrryyyy late last night tossing and turning with my final debate between myself. I truely believe that animal suffering goes way to far, and is shrugged off as not a big deal. Well it is a big deal to me, who are we to do this? This is for myself and only myself, one human affects hundreds of animals lives. Veganism is my stance on suffering and violence personified. I know a lot of people will talk about me behind my back, snickering, and saying that it is just a fad he is going through, but honestly look into Veganism and the mistreatment of animals and come talk to me, I promise you will not feel the same way.
I just need to find a couple cool places to shop, stores that don't sell the things that use to be breathing/blinking/living. I need a wardrobe change badly.

Drove home to that achingly long song:
The one that moves so slow,
it makes you wonder if you're ever going to hear the next note
the way that feet moved slow through Denver December snow,
past cars that got stuck in the road
(that winter when I asked what a fourteen year old boy
could possibly know about forever, and you told me a lot).

<3




So...I think I have a crush on a girl, I definitely have been thinking about her, and I think she has feelings for me. I don't know though, I'm nervous...like always (sigh). Maybe in a little bit I will man up, but right now I want to go through Fall alone. I hope things don't change in the one month I actually WANT to be alone :(

All day


This has consumed my thoughts, my actions, my whole day has been comsumed by this man.


WALK ALONG THE RAZORS EDGE! PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT!

I started playing WoW again, after a month long hiatus. I'm sooo glad that It's back. Yesterday flew by because of it.

It's October!!!

My Favorite month.

Thank God September is over.
The only month I hate more than September is February.
At least September is now behind me.

:)