The puzzle pieces are falling into place so far this week.

Computer Aided Drafting, CAD, was destroying me. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. I've learned that I'm not very good at learning new things anymore. I remember reading an article in SEED a couple years back, and it mentioned that once you reach a certain age (I believe 20-22) you have a harder time understanding/learning things then before. It went on to say that it has to do something with the brains chemicals... but who knows. Actually, now that I think of it, it might just have been a theory. Regardless, I believe it. Usually I'm very good with learning new things...especially computer apps. But for some reason, I've been having a harder time with things. My brain has hardened over.

I found out that I didn't even need to take the stupid class, so I talked to the head of Fire, and he agreed. So I dropped it, and picked up "the Black Experience: 1877-1954" It starts the second 8 weeks of fall semester (10-19). It also just so happened that I found all this out on the very last day you can add a class. Lucky me I guess.
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Moving on, with that behind me.

The weather is certainly changing. The high for upcoming Saturday is 59 degrees. Soon enough, it is going to be 15 degrees, and me having to walk 14 blocks to class in thin shoes, cold feet, and snow in my beard.

This blog is considered by me to be at its "second time around." I say this because I read all my old posts from the year prior, and then memories flash through my head about last year and what I was doing making me want to write down the feeling that I'm experiencing. (I think I need to write newer posts about life this year, instead of walking down old memory lane)

I remember walking around with Ben, and Mike and talking about how many weeks we had left until Winter break. I couldn't wait to get out of school, and I still can't. This time last year I started to go to the library a lot here. I took out a lot of Lovecraft, and Block, and I would just read and listen to black ambiance to get the mood right.


Why I write:
Thoughts:Feelings
I obsess over feelings.
I obsess over thoughts and the feelings that rise up.
EG: Walking in cool crisp air, and the thought of her comes strolling in my head.
I obsess with the feeling at that exact moment, and how it feels surreal but how it's so perfect. And how this is what safety, enjoyment, love, comfort, etc...
How it is all those feelings crashing your senses at the same time.

Feelings:Proximity
The way things are when it is not thoughts.
The way things are when it is in proximity.
Skin brushes, touches, hand holding and experiencing everything at the very same time.




I treat this blog too much like a private journal. Sometimes it is a good thing, other times, not, but these are my thoughts and I like to write them.