I enjoy being part of something. I enjoy feeling, and being responsible. I want to be professional.

First Breath After Coma.


Windy, and bright.
Blues are the most bluest blues, and the greens the greenest greens.
The only two colors that fit so perfectly together.
Blues on greens, or greens on blues.
Welcome to my thoughts.

I saw 30 Days of Night last night. I thought it was the best vampire movie I've seen. It also made me want to movie to Alaska real bad. There is something about the cover of winter, that makes me feel safe inside. Even if there are a lot of Nosferatu running around eating my neighbors. Who knows what I'm talking about anymore. I just really liked the movie, and Mr. Sam Raimi produced it. You didn't get too attached to the characters, which is awesome and made it fun when they died. I sat next to 4 black people; 2 guys and 2 girls. They were being loud, and almost ruined the experience for me. If I wasn't so much in to the movie as I was, they would have. They kept being stereotypical blacks and saying "aw no he didn't", or "you best be runnin' right about now cracka."

Josh Harnett always seems to get himself into situations where he has to survive something for 30 days. Pretty weird. He was good, and his female counter part (Melissa George) was as good, and she was extremely nice to look at for 2 hours. Ben Foster was also in this movie for a little bit, and this seems to be the first time that I've seen him in a movie recently without Amie. I felt like I was cheating.

WVIZ


I couldn't sleep tonight. It is 3 in the morning, and normally I would have been asleep hours ago.
I woke up at about 2:20 in the am, went to the kitchen to get some water, and ate some graham crackers. Then something told me to go in my room and turn on the TV. I turned it on and started to flip through the channels. I went down one single channel, and low and behold, the WVIZ was playing beautiful music. I recognized the song, I recognized the artists, and I recognized the beauty. It was Explosions in the Sky. They played such a beautiful short set, and for 35 minutes it was such a wonderful surprise that the stars aligned just for me. WVIZ is airing the Austin City Limits Music Festival, and you can check it out at PBS.ORG.
I swear...ever since I've fallen in love, things are so much better. Music actually is amazing again. My heart stops for split seconds when I hear beautiful notes. It is a wonderful thing. Not having music in my life was much like a Jedi being surrounded by Ysalamir.

I can't believe it is so late, and I have such a busy day tomorrow. At least the week is more than half way done for me.

I'm keeping myself from studying for my Math final.

Today, in the afternoon, while I was taking a shower, I was thinking about music. Music used to be such a big part of my life. Just exploring genres and finding new phat beats to love. Lately (the past 2 years) I've just fell away from it all. In the shower, I was thinking about how I hate it now because I finally understand that music's usually the thing that makes people who they are. Much like their family, or the place they grew up.
Music scenes are retarded, and I feel like I'm 15 just bothering talking about this. I remember listening to punk as a youngster, and having angst while I rode my skateboard around town. Then I remember finding Cursive, falling in love with Indie, and exploring Kasher's portfolio, or hearing Sunny Day's Diary album and having that feeling in my heart. Then it was followed by harsher music for the later part of high school. This is mostly because I was at that age where I hated when bands that I liked started to get discovered and I started to see familiar faces at shows(still do actually). Then the next day at school, I would have new friends, that I really did not want in my life. I just started to get into harsh music because it was harder for those kids to accept and things would feel back to normal for when I went to shows.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm falling in love with music again. I'm mostly just going back to my roots. The music that I first fell in love with, and am still in love with.

Quantum mechanics is such an amazing subject.

This article made my head spin...spin right 'round.

Quantum suicide

I sometimes get scared. So scared that my stomach drops on the floor.

I guess I should just live moment by moment. But I'm never able to do that. If I lived moment by moment, I wouldn't be nervous, would never be scared, never sweat in bed, fall right to sleep, my brain would be more relaxed because it wouldn't think nearly as much, and plenty of other positive things.

The future scares me the most out of anything ever. Just for the lone fact of the uncertainty that comes with it. Thats when people say "but, that's what makes it exciting." I don't want an exciting life. I want dinner in the suburbs, sleek furniture, pup's, designs on the wall, and an attic room. Stability. I don't like change. I like things as is. And lately I wouldn't have it any other way than as it is.

Think think think think think. Two decades worth of vacation time that needs to be cashed in.


It is getting to be cold, dark early, dead, and beautiful.

oh so pretty.
oh so deathly.
oh so inevitable.

An anniversary.


Things are going very well. This semester is halfway done, and it is going by really fast. I'm doing decent in school. Not as good as last year, but only in the sense that I have a B, possibly 2.

I will update this more often. More today also, when I don't have these fire suppression questions to do.